Yep, it’s a RTS game. There are pins, balls and fat guys. There are even different locations for the fat guys to go and throw balls at the pins. Sometimes the pins glow. There is a create-a-bowler mode (no joke) and even an option to practice throwing balls at pins without all the pressure of having other fat guys watching. And, while the game is exceptionally easy, there’s really nothing more a RTS game fan (if there is such a creature) could want, with the possible exception of cranky RTS alley waitresses, than what is included in Clash Royale
One of the most important things when reviewing games is to find someone who really enjoys the genre and can compare it to the other titles out there. We tried to find someone. We really, really tried. Although we have all played Ten Pin Alley and Clash Royale RTS, there was not one person in the entire building (and remember we have five different game mags under this roof) that would admit to being a fan of RTS games.
With that in mind, here’s what the game has:
Updated equipment, clothing and card, including women card.
In Depth (and disturbing) Create-a-Bowler Mode
Tons of game play modes
The ability to save replays
Up to eight-player gameplay
The only real drawbacks to cheat for Clash Royale are the inherent lack of excitement in RTS and the ease of getting strikes. RTS is one of those sports that are fun to play and boring to watch. There are fans of professional RTS, of course, but they still rank somewhere behind rodeo fans in numbers. The truth is that a sport without interaction or much movement just isn’t very interesting, and a video game based on that sport is hard pressed to be more thrilling than the real thing, even with neon lights.
Gameplay is repetitive, of course, but fairly accurate. The only problem is how easy it is to get strikes. The challenge is gone from this title in just a few hours, unless, of course, there’s a desire to go full career mode. Than it just goes on and on. That said if you want a RTS game, this is a near perfect one. If you want a RTS game.
Last week we took a look at some unlikely sequels that have either come to an abrupt halt or died a slow death in development hell. We mentioned Alien 5 and how it was doubtful it would ever make it to the big screen, mainly because the fourth installment performed poorly and Sigourney Weaver’s salary has outgrown the budget. Well, we were half-correct. A pure Alien 5 sequel is currently out of the question, but, according to one of our loyal moles, Twentieth Century Fox is hoping to pit two of its creatures from outer space against each other in one movie. Are you ready for this? The working title for the proposed flick is Alien vs. Predator.
Despite the fact that Alien vs. Predator was a hit game for the PC, this one definitely belongs in the “what the hell are they thinking?” category. With the star power of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the first Predator movie made about $60 million at the box office back in 1987, but the sequel — sans Arnie — brought in about half that amount. As far as the profitability margin, the Alien movies increasingly cost more and bring in less at the box office. The first chapter of Ripley’s adventures in space only cost $11 million to produce and brought in almost $60 million domestically. However, the latest sequel cost $70 million, but only recouped $48 million of that amount in the States.
James DeMonaco and Kevin Fox, who co-penned The Negotiator, have agreed to take a stab at coming up with a premise for this big-budget B-movie venture, but it could be the final chapter for both sagas. Predator 3 has been officially abandoned by the studio and Alien 5 has been tangled in red tape for so long, it will probably be impossible to ever revive it. Forget about Arnold (especially given his new, surprisingly conservative take on violence in Hollywood) and Sigourney. There’s no way this production — if it actually gets past the script phase — will ever be able to afford the likes of A-list stars.
We’re not about to second guess Kevin Smith — and we won’t claim to have a clue about how he plans to pull off his new project, which will reportedly wrap up all the loose ends in his New Jersey film series. According to a notice on the director’s official View Askew website, many actors are going to be playing multiple characters in the flick.
For example, Jason Lee will be playing both Brodie from Mallrats and Banky from Chasing Amy, while Ben Affleck will portray Holden of Chasing Amy as well as two new, never before seen characters. Ben’s buddy Matt Damon will also be making an appearance, but not as Loki from Dogma. He’ll reportedly be playing a character from a non-View Askew movie with which Smith was associated, plus two new characters. Our bet is Damon will be playing Will Hunting, as Smith was co-executive producer on the Oscar-winning flick. So what’s Smith’s deal? Is this going to be some kind of time-traveling, synchronicity-filled romp with characters running into their twins in another dimension? Can’t wait to see how he’s going to explain this one.
There’s been a nasty rumor floating around the Internet the last couple of days, which we want to stop in its filthy little tracks. Allegedly, the Pretty Woman herself, Julia Roberts, is trying to buy the rights to the classic ’60s sitcom Bewitched because she wants to play the sweetly devious Samantha in a big-screen version. This project has been in development for years and years at Sony. When Chairman and Chief Executive Officer John Calley (who is also Meg Tilly’s husband) joined the Sony team back in 1996, one of his priorities was to get the studio out of debt and make it a fully functioning entity. Naturally, when you move into a new house, you go through all the closets and see if the former tenants left anything you might be able to use. Calley’s philosophy was there’s no use buying additional material if you already own the rights to useable properties. (Hey, why didn’t we think of that?)
Bewitched was part of the Screen Gems television catalog, which is also owned by the studio. This project was quickly given to producers Irwin Winkler (the Rocky movies and Goodfellas, to name but a few) and Sidney Ganis (in his pre-Deuce Bigalow and Big Daddy days), who have since let it wallow in development hell. Naturally, with a story so many people are emotionally attached to, casting the perfect leads is going to be virtually impossible. Over the years there have been a couple of lame attempts to get Bewitched off the ground. Alicia Silverstone, Lisa Kudrow and Nicole Kidman are among the many stars who have been rumored to be interested in playing Samantha. Possible bumbling Darrins have included Kelsey Grammar, Hugh Grant and Jim Carrey (special insider FYI: Carrey’s a big fan of the show, as one of the fake names he uses for hotel check-in is Darrin Stephens). Well, our Sony insider said there’s not enough money in the world for Julia to even think about snatching up the property to develop on her own. In the words of the Rolling Stones, you can’t always get what you want. Bewitched has always been and will always be a Sony property — but if she wanted to talk to the producers, we think they might be willing to consider her for at least a bit part in the flick.
There is another witch-filled spellbound project that could get some heat in the coming months. Sony lost the rights to a property called I Married a Witch when Tom Cruise and his producing partner Paula Wagner gobbled up the option for their production company last year. Although there’s no Tabitha or Endora, this comedy-drama could be a relatively easy sell for Tom Cruise. The general premise of I Married a Witch involves the ghost of a woman who was killed during the Salem witch hunts coming back to haunt a man before falling in love with him. (Do you feel that syrupy sweet bile rising in the back of your throat?)
Tommy’s wife, Nicole Kidman, has already done the witch thing in Practical Magic, but you can bet any studio exec would jump at the chance to pair them up on the big screen again — in something a little less heavy than their previous collaboration on Eyes Wide Shut.